Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Assonantal Assaults

What’s more threatening:

Snakes on a Plane (Children, do not press the forward arrow key.)

Hens on the Deck (The poop is slippery, trust me.)


Nuns on the Bus

Really. This would be hilarious if it weren't so disturbing.

Every hour of each day, Catholic Sisters stand in solidarity with all who live in poverty, and we confront injustice and systems that cause suffering.

We cannot stand by silently when the U.S. Congress considers further enriching the wealthiest Americans at the expense of struggling, impoverished families. [emphasis added]

This is too much! Look toward your churches first, Sisters!

I wonder if they're going to confront injustice by chucking chalk at the pedophilic priest – or relieve the suffering they see by liquidating some church properties and distributing the tax-free windfall to those in need. And that’s the funny part!

The disturbing part is that these women, who have devoted their lives to religious missions through medieval mysticism are now pushing their brand of "economic justice" politically. The best government, they assure us, is the one that will further their religiously-based mission. 

Sorry Sisters. Your ascetic altruism is no longer unassailable – it’s a life of evasion, plain and simple. Furthermore, and more importantly, your bait-and-switch morality – offering the grace of God and everlasting life to those who live lives devoted to others – no longer fools those of us who understand that life is all there is:  Every individual has a right to his own life, and there is no magic egalitarian in the sky or in the People’s House.

There are, however, far too many of you who try not to raise the situation, outlook, or abilities of those in poverty, but to feed their irrational suspicions that if someone is poor, it is because someone else is rich. You advance the idea that they are victims of the rich and entitled to other people's money. All I have to say is shame on you, Sisters. 

I could completely ignore you as part of the quirky sartorial charms of my childhood if I didn’t fear that your brand of collectivism has already ruined the world I live in. Get back on the bus and stop stumping before the desperate, big government, whose force against individuals you so sickeningly embrace, realizes that you are not above taxation.

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