Aye Eye!

Hyperopia: n. An abnormal condition of the eye in which vision is better for distant objects than for near objects. It results from the eyeball being too short from front to back, causing images to be focused behind the retina; farsightedness.

Myopia: n. A visual defect in which distant objects appear blurred because their images are focused in front of the retina rather than on it; nearsightedness.

These are distinct, and in fact, opposite eye defects, both of which, oddly, I have.  My right eye is myopic and my left, hyperopic and amblyopic (i.e. wicked frigin' lazy) but, more importantly, even at my ripe old age, I just found out there may be some therapy to slightly improve it!

I made the picture small for
your intestinal convenience.

After the series (2) of right eye bleeds – subconjuctival hemorrhages – I needed to get a complete eye exam to check out what exactly the hell was going on in there! Turns out, nothing. All is well deep in there. The hemorrhages, although in the same spot and five weeks apart, were oddities. The doctor did note that I was a weightlifter, which is good because I wasn't certain I had stressed heavy weights, a sometimes cause of subconjunctival hemorrhages, as opposed to 5 lb. dumbbells during my previous emergency visit. So when I tried to explain the load, the silly doctor thought I could snatch 185 lbs.! In my further explanation I got a chance to demonstrate, without weights, the difference between a deadlift, a power clean, and a snatch. Well, for some reason, I didn’t call it a snatch, but an overhead press.  Go figure. But when’s the last time you did that in a doctor’s office?

Anyway . . .

The very exciting news is that my new eye doctor, now one of my favorite doctors ever, asked me if I’ve ever considered trying to retrain my damn lazy eye to focus better! What? Years ago, my then eye doctor had given me the same prescription in both lenses so my eyes would “look” the same from the outside! He gave up my left eye for dead! Bastard! (Actually he’s the one who probably saved any of my left eye vision when I was three and a half, so I really did appreciate his efforts. He was simply wrong in recommending this course of events as I was wrong in accepting them, unquestioningly.)

Since I respected his opinion, I accepted his call. Who wants one huge and one tiny eye? But I have a wonky eye whether or not I choose to highlight it!  If I can make it work better I’m all for it!

My new doctor said that it was once thought such therapy was good only for children but that some adults are finding slight improvements with regular periodic efforts in focusing the lazy eye with the correct corrective lens by blocking out the other eye completely! Woo hoo!

Or should I say, Arrrr!, because the only way to completely block the good eye is with a patch.  That’s right! I’m going to look totally badass in the next two months prepping for Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Avast, ye landlubbers, I’ll be lettin’ ye know if this be the plan of a scurvy dog or hearty matey.