Sunday, August 10, 2008

Six Things

I was tagged by Shez of Homeschooled Twins by this meme to post six things people don’t know about me. This is not to be confused with six things no one knows about me, because there just aren’t that many things (though I am often happy there is no such thing as thought police). While I’ve hardly been less than forthcoming in this blog, here are a few things about myself which I find amusing and/or interesting and which don’t normally come out in everyday conversation (even with myself):

1. When I was about nine, I told my friends that I was homosexual because I had recently learned that “homo” meant man – as in Homo sapiens and, duh, – everyone knows what “sexual” means (like kissing 'n' stuff). Putting two and two together - ergo - I was a “homosexual”. I don’t remember who finally disabused of me this notion and told me that “homo” meant "the same" in this usage, but it was certainly not one of my friends who regarded all that I said on matters of “words and their meaning” as beyond reproach. Oops - my bad.

2. Inspired by other dexterous toes stories, I have to report that when I was nine, I seriously broke my elbow (apparently that was a big year for me), and while in the hospital in traction for two weeks, I learned how to play cards with my toes. My grandmother bought me round playing cards to avoid the whole “holding them up right” issue. Grammy, by the way, looked like Judy Garland, in my opinion, and dressed up to watch Tom Jones on TV. I'm sorry, but I think that is fantastic! But this is about me.

3. I was an ordained Catechetical minister at the age of 17. This means I was blessed by the priest to teach CCD! This is in spite the fact that around age 10 or 11, I stopped believing in the Catholic God. He just didn’t do anything for me. I think I just really liked the pictures in the catechism: they were simple, pastel and reminded me of the childhood I never had (I had one - it just wasn't simple or pastel). That gig didn’t last the year.

4. In college, I was a cocktail waitress in a cheerleading uniform at a “60s theme” bar and had to drop everything to dance on the nearest table during certain songs. The dancing was the best part of the job and my nickname was the “parochial school girl” as my cheerleading skirt was on the longish side. The overall experience was a good one in that it helped me forever eliminate any temptation to add “people person” to my list of marketable skills.

5. My thumbs are double-jointed (or whatever that thing is which means you can bend them back all the way back and touch your wrist) and I only wish I could add that to a list of marketable skills.

6. I met Stephen in first grade when he (or his twin brother – hardly matters now) read out loud from my Ned and Lad reader while looking over my shoulder. They were kindergarten age - damn little whippersnappers! I am only now learning to live with the fact that he is smarter than I am. This is not easy for someone whose overblown assessment of her own intelligence once helped her unwittingly convince a group of little girls that “homosexual” meant “liking boys”.

For this 6 Things Meme, I now tag Fiddler, Kim, and Manoj. I would also like to tag Stephen, C. August, and the Aesthetic Capitalist for this fun fest, but must first steel myself against the likelihood of their collective rejection of (manifested by individual lack of response to, and possible hiding of personal disdain for) any such prompting.

I will say, I found the exercise quite fun, so thank you, Shez. Even my beloved did not know one of the six items (though I'm quite sure I told him - maybe the baseball game was on at the time).


Christina said...

Thanks for the tag, my friend. I knew #4 and #6, but was pretty amazed by #3. Hard to imagine!

You and my oldest share the double-jointed thumb trait. He thinks double-jointedness is going to land him on So You Think You Can Dance in eight years or so. You are over 18, so you can audition for next season, aren't you psyched?

Hmmm. Will have to think about six things people don't know about me, as well as whom to tag after me.

Lynne said...

You know, the more I thought about it, I realized I was 16 when I did that. Clearly, I find this more embarassing than #'s 1 and 4 put together which is probably why you've never heard of it!

I am psyched that I can audition for "So You Think You Can Dance" but am curious about exactly how my double-jointed thumbs will help!

Christina said...

Ah. Didn't you know that the coolest poppers are double-jointed? Of course, neither of the poppers that had this trait actually made it into the top twenty, but O. thinks he's going to change all that. I see dance lessons in his near future.

Lynne said...

Ah. I think if I were to pop and lock at this stage, I might pop and dislodge. So much for the dream to become a Solid Gold Dancer - that was #7!

Stephen Bourque said...

Okay. Here are my six things:

1. Most people of even casual acquaintance know that I love orchestral and chamber music - baroque, classical, romantic, some modern - but they may not know that I have gone through some rather darker phases: punk, post punk, industrial, and death metal. Of course, I listened to that stuff from a distance, so to speak, and never lived that way or even really approved of it. However, to leave readers with an amusing image, I admit that I have a dungaree jacket in my closet that I used to wear twenty years ago, the back of which I painted with these band logos: Rush, Wire, Siouxsie and the Banshees, In the Nursery, Legendary Pink Dots. I still love all those bands (though I no longer wear the jacket).

2. I have a perfect bite, or at least so I have been told by my dentist since I was young. Frankly, I would have traded some of that perfection for a little more height, but alas, it doesn’t work that way.

3. I am a bit of a foodie, meaning I like to cook, and am sort of an amateur - very amateur - gourmet. Many people know that, but what they may not know is that my favorite culinary tool is not my Shun chef’s knife or any of the other Shun cutlery that I treasure. No, my very favorite tool is my fire-engine red, 325 W, KitchenAid Artisan stand mixer. I love her - I mean, I love it. I have the pasta roller and the meat grinder attachments, and someday I’m going to get the ice cream maker attachment. I call her Julia.

4. When I was young, I was always the shortest kid in my class, but also the second fastest. (My twin brother was always a step faster.) Now that I am in my forties, I’m still short and skinny and I still feel fast. But am I really? Thus, I often say to LB, only half joking, that as long as I’m the fastest guy at work, I won’t feel old. So, by chance, we had a race around the office park a few weeks ago, and guess what? I’m the fastest guy at work!

5. I’ve heard that the name of the sports company adidas means “All day I dream about sports.” Oddly, that is true about me. It’s completely nonsensical, but I don’t go a day without fantasizing several times about being on the Red Sox or Bruins. I’m an electrical engineer, for Christ’s sake! There must be something wrong with me.

6. I can’t swim. Well, I can, but only if I had an underwater breathing apparatus and some auxiliary means of propulsion to ensure net progress in one direction. One problem is that I am buoyancy-challenged; I hang low in the water. (Hey! No comments from the peanut gallery.) My other problem is that because I never developed the motions in my youth, I have no clue how to kick or paddle. I work like crazy, I assure you, yet I go nowhere but down. I basically resemble a subatomic particle in Brownian motion. I took an adult swimming class and the instructor took one look at me and shook his head, saying, “Oh yeah. I’ve seen that before. Well, there’s not much I can do with you.”