Saturday, September 26, 2009

3 Good Things (Wit and Wisdom edition)

At the dump:
Instead of curbside trash pick-up, we have a local transfer station in town. For reasons I'd rather not focus on, I've spent a lot of time there this month. Today I was talking to a guy who had two huge and well-behaved Spunoni Italianoes in his open hatchback. (Sure, I called them Italiano Spumonis, but he gently corrected me). After apologizing for my love of ice cream and work in an Italian restaurant, we continued discussing the dogs. To my question about their gender, he answered, "Yes, they used to be male and female; now they're just brother and sister."

Out to dinner:
After dinner last Friday night, I ordered a dirty martini at the bar. When the bartender brought it over, I noticed a clear bottle behind him labeled SEX and he told me it was vodka. Feeling saucy in my argyle sweater dress, I asked him if I used that in my martini would it be called Dirty Sex. He said yes, and that if I added jalapenos it would be called Hot Dirty Sex. I crinkled up my nose and asked how would that taste. He smartly responded, "Who cares?"

At public school:
In my daughter's AP US History class this year, one of her three books is Howard Zinn's A People's History of the United States. Knowing the book is a piece of multicultural, revisionist history, I reviewed and discussed her first assignment with her and told her that I'd give her The Enemies of Christopher Columbus in addition to that book. Her teacher asked if anyone's parents had any comments on the choice of texts this year and my daughter told him what I said. But the best comment regarding the Zinn book was from a student who reported , "My mother said instead of reading it, I should just take the book and hit myself over the head with it." Geez. I wish I had thought of that.


Lady Baker said...

Oh my, you've got both me and my husband laughing hysterically! Maybe I should read more of that Dinesen book to conquer the giggles... the first story is about a priest in a flood!

Lynne said...

A priest in a flood? I was expecting a herd of unicorns!

Lady Baker said...

Oh dear, me too or a lease something a little more cheery!