Thursday, February 24, 2011

Ms. Bubbles Fined for Threatening to Kill Kids

And, according to today's Federal Register, has agreed to pay $40,000 for her egregious error in judgment: selling this jacket in children's sizes 7-12.

I certainly see the fashion felony for parents who buy this for their 7-10 year olds, but Ms. Bubbles has been fined for not complying with the Consumer Product Safety Commission's Drawstring Hazard Guidelines.

It’s important to note that no child has been harmed from Ms. Bubbles actions.
CPSC is still interested in receiving incident or injury reports that are either directly related to this product recall or involve a different hazard with the same product. Please tell us about it by visiting
Merely, Ms. Bubbles violated the unwritten law that guidelines issued by bureaucrats are to be obeyed as laws -- particularly those designed to protect us from ourselves. 
The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission is charged with protecting the public from unreasonable risks of injury or death from thousands of types of consumer products under the agency's jurisdiction. The CPSC is committed to protecting consumers and families from products that pose a fire, electrical, chemical, or mechanical hazard. The CPSC's work to ensure the safety of consumer products - such as toys, cribs, power tools, cigarette lighters, and household chemicals - contributed significantly to the decline in the rate of deaths and injuries associated with consumer products over the past 30 years.
It would appear despite her attempt to distance herself from the legacy of her father's run-in with the National Institute of Health -- it has been speculated that she added the 's' for safety -- Ms. Bubbles was unable to avoid prosecution.

In an ironic twist of fate, Ms. Bubbles’ siblings who did not change their names in order to protect the innocent, brother, Mr. Plastic Bubble, and sister, Mrs. Bubble-Wrap, each have safely thriving businesses in our nanny-state.


aries1949 said...

You know how to use words, use them and have fun with them. Manys the time I've been told, by my peers (?), to speak English. They don't understand that I do and they don't. I suspect you of being a staunch advocate of random dictionary perusal. It's ok to admit it. I enjoy your writing.
thanks, Mike

Lynne said...

Thanks, Mike. But you know -- I sometimes play with the words to the detraction of my meaning or at the expense of clarity. This is not good.

While I actually enjoy some ambiguity (as in double entendre), mostly I'd rather be clear and must get better at it. Here is where I practice.

Also, even though I borrow freely from my homeschooler's vocabulary words (see here), I can assure you that I did not have to look up even one of the words used here!

Question: where does one find the definition for sobaholic?

aries1949 said...

First, the words. I'm a heavy duty reader. Sometimes I find words that I don't know, and so, head for the dictionary. after finding the word i wanted, i just keep looking. Sometimes I open up to ramdom pages just to see what I'll see. It's fun. To me, words are like lincoln logs; they're meant to be played with.
Second,I write very unconventional poetry and am just starting to put them in a blog. At aries1949,or aries49. Both show up as the blog name. Try both. I'm still new

aries1949 said...

did you find the definition in my profile?

Lynne said...

Yes, but in no dictionary.

aries1949 said...

New words come about because the writer saw the need for a new word. When readers understand and accept that need, a made up can become a 'real' word. The writer has the power.

Lynne said...

Ah. Thank you for the further explanation.