I was going to leave this alone, but…

It's just too outrageous.

Two summers ago we had the wide pine planks on our first floor refinished. This rendered the entire floor off-limits for about a week. Being the ingenious folks we are – we put a ladder up to a second floor bedroom window to enter the house proper for showering. Also being the conscientious folks that we are, we notified the neighbors.

“Hey! If you see anyone crawling into the back of our house over the next few days – it’s more than likely just us.”

Except for the youngest, we used the ladder at least once a day for the few days. Sometimes even at night. It was a bit of adventure and the floors came out great (note to future self: wide pine floors may look pretty, but they’re soft as hell and require more maintenance than hardwoods).

Of course, we could have kept our odd behavior to ourselves (as is normally the case) and run the risk that someone would call the police. Then we would have had to come down the ladder, explain the situation, and, a little red-faced, apologize for wasting their time because we didn’t have the foresight to understand how our actions could easily have been misinterpreted.

Or, upon their arrival, we could have been belligerent and litigious, providing proof by verbosity well before and after the requested proof of ID. We could have blamed the neighbors for their stupidity in trying to protect our property, and made a federal case out of police harassment.

Oh wait. We couldn’t have made it a federal case, but he can with a little help from the POTUS.

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