Tuesday, March 23, 2010

My Reeducation

I’m excited.

Now that Congress and the Administration have institutionalized the idea that rights are government granted and that one’s rights cannot be discriminated against because of pre­-existing conditions, I’m going to Harvard!

My reasoning, which follows that of the majority of our Congressmen, is that in this country, education, much like health care, is considered a right granted to us by the government: a right to the products and efforts of other men’s minds, rather than a freedom to act in one’s best interest.

Although my GPA, test scores, and transcript may reveal academic achievement below current Harvard standards, it could be beyond my control. These liabilities notwithstanding, in dismissing my claim that I have a right to the education it offers, Harvard would be discriminating against my pre-existing conditions.  Harvard must therefore be forced to accept my application for admission under all circumstances.  Anything less than full matriculation is a grave social injustice. Attending Harvard is not a value for me to earn, but a simple matter of my right to an education.

More importantly, because I can’t possibly afford to pay for Harvard, I am excited to discover that the government will not only force Harvard to accept me, but also force everyone to pay for me through government subsidized loans.  Don’t worry – you’ll only have to pay a tiny bit each.  You won’t even feel it.  Harvard is rich – they certainly won’t feel it. 

Be forewarned, however; should you choose to not subsidize my education, there are 10,000 new IRS agents waiting to make certain that you participate in this right of mine. This is notably fewer IRS agents than those necessary to provide health care coverage, because I’m convinced you’ll want to do the right thing and support my right to an education.

I am certain of this because I am currently so stupid as to actually think that by forcing private companies and individuals to provide goods and services to all at prices set by the government, rather within the free market, accessibility to and quality of health care services will diminish for all. 

I am so ignorant as to believe that rights are limited to the freedom of action - to believe that along with the Constitution, the Declaration of Independence recognized the rights of individuals to be free to pursue one’s values, not the right to values gained by others. 

I am so uneducated as to understand the historic importance of the Health Care Act of 2010 is not as a bold step toward dignity for all Americans, but rather an enormous expansion of the federal government and an egregious attack on individual rights, the protection of which is the very purpose of the founding of the American government, and the respect for which is the very foundation on which the tremendous wealth and progress of this country was built.

Clearly, I need to be reeducated.

4 comments:

Amit Ghate said...

LOL! You should submit a version of this as a letter to the editor.

Lynne said...

Glad you liked it and thanks for the idea, Amit. I'll give that some thought.

C. August said...

I really liked it too. Meant to comment on it yesterday.

Bravo!

You should have submitted it to the Objectivist Round Up, too.

Lynne said...

Thanks, C. I thought about it, and while I can be incredibly sarcastic in person, I'm not a huge fan of satire in writing on important issues, so I have mixed feelings about a wider audience.

Despite this, I am still considering it as an LTE though (which I realize, makes little sense in light of the above).